Last night Kanye West took my seat. Or actually I took his. Sort of. It was at a movie screening for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. As per usual, I was late arriving and a long line of people were waiting outside. An employee from the theater came over and informed us that the screening was sold out – no one else was getting in. This was my cue to book it past everybody and speed-walk into the screening as if I belonged. Amazingly, it worked.
Once inside, I looked around for an empty seat. Finally I stumbled upon one with a sign taped to it reading, “Reserved For Studio.” Seemed okay to me, so I sat down. The movie started. I figured I was in the clear, until a lady came over and told me I had to leave. “Why??” I asked incredulously. “It’s reserved for someone,” she informed me. “Who??” “Kanye West.” “Oh.” So I begrudgingly got up and watched the rest of the movie from a plastic chair in the back.
The seat stayed empty. Brad Pitt got younger. Kanye never showed up.
You owe me one, Kanye. Next time I’m calling Seat Back.