It’s been a busy week for me. Last weekend I participated in the Del Close Marathon. It was an amazing time – Brooke Shields even made an appearance and seemed totally cool and on board for anything – as reported accurately here and as reported hilariously inaccurately here. Most of my shows were well after midnight, including a show called The Foxworthy Brothers – with Will Hines and Birch Harms – as seen below. I forgot to bring fake mustaches for everybody (an important part of the show). So Will and Birch used black tape for their fake mustaches. I didn’t forget to bring the awesome mullet wigs, though.
Bottom-line: I didn’t get a lot of sleep over the weekend. On top of that, my sleeping schedule has been disrupted even further by The Olympics. I don’t know why, but I’ve always been a nut-ball for the Olympics. It probably started when I went to the ‘84 Olympics in LA with my Dad. My nut-ball zeal was heightened even more when some college buddies and I volunteered for the ‘96 Games in Atlanta. My sister, who was in charge of the actual medals at the games, got us jobs at the Olympic Stadium as “Coordinators for the Look of the Game”. We were given uniforms and full-access passes and told to report to our boss. But our boss, who we never met, got fired right before the games started. So we basically had nothing to do. We would go to the Olympic Stadium every single day in our uniforms and full-access passes and just watch all of the events for free.
In addition, we would hit up every other sporting event we could – such as the Women’s Gold Medal Soccer match in Athens. We even attended some non-sporting events – we were right next to Centennial Olympic Park at a James Brown concert when the bomb went off. At the end of the two week extravaganza, we ended up selling our Olympic uniforms to tourists for a few hundred bucks each. So we made a profit out of the whole deal. All for doing nothing. We were douchebags.
This year’s Olympics haven’t disappointed either. The Men’s Swimming 4×100 Freestyle Relay Race had to be one of the best sporting events I’ve ever seen. Right? Or is it just me? And last night, I ended up staying up past 1 am watching Women’s Gymnastics. I told myself I would only watch a few minutes and go to bed. But I ended up being glued to the TV for hours. And I didn’t even think I liked Women’s Gymnastics. But what can I say? I guess I’ll always have Olympic Fever. No uniforms to sell this year though. Unless you count my fake mustache that I’ve been wearing as I cheer all of the athletes on. But I don’t know if I’m ready to sell that baby just yet. I might need it.