roblathan.com

I’m trying to start up my own prostitution ring. You know, build it from the ground up. And mine is much better than that one Eliot Spitzer went to.

So, just to show you what you missed out on, Governor Spitzer, here are just a few of the advantages my prostitution ring has over the one you went to:

1. My prostitutes only cost $4,125 an hour, as opposed to $5,500 an hour.
2. After you’ve spent over $10,000 on the same experience you could have had with your right hand, my prostitutes will try to cheer you up by making funny faces or tickling you.
3. My prostitutes are worth eight “Whore Diamonds,” as opposed to seven.
4. If you spend enough money, you can get my top prostitute, who is worth One “Whore Diamond Skull”. (Actually, the top prostitute IS the actual Diamond Skull.)
5. My prostitutes were all extras in a Ric Astley video.
6. Fourteen of my prostitutes can kite surf.
7. Amber, one of my very best prostitutes, can do a mean Gary Busey impression.
8. All of my prostitutes can roll their “r’s” really well when they speak Spanish.
9. One of my prostitutes, Alana, is in the Guinness Book of World Records for holding her breath underwater for 3 minutes and 31 seconds.
10. My prostitutes always win their March Madness pools (and not just by accident).

If all of that doesn’t get everybody pumped up, I don’t know what will.
To set up an appointment, call this number: 917-438-9213

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 11th, 2008 at 12:33 pm and is filed under Uncategorized.