Archive for March, 2008

Permanent Nutface Gary

Monday, March 31st, 2008

This short is now on the very front page of funny or die as the main featured video. Please vote “funny” or else all of the “die” haters will win. And we don’t want that to happen, do we?

Scavenger Hunt

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

A sketch I filmed called Scavenger Hunt is now on the front page of UCBComedy.com.

WARNING: There is brief nudity in this sketch involving my bare, white ass. Shed your eyes. Look away. Put the kids to bed.

Scavenger Hunt – watch more funny videos

Neil Casey is hilariously creepy in it. Thanks to Pete Schultz, Brandon Bassham, Kevin Haas, Two Boots Pizza, and Mister Mister for making it happen. Also, a shout-out should go out to Mr. William Bradford Hines, who helped me come up with this sketch after I told him I had a work outing involving a scavenger hunt all over the city.

Aqua Colbert

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008

Here it is.

Also, a Colbert blog, called The No Fact Zone wrote about it, which you can check out here.

Watch The Colbert Report Tonight

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

I just might be in a sketch about Colbert’s new brand of water called Aqua Colbert. It also features Alison Becker.

Tonight. 11:30. Comedy Central. DVR it!

Naked Gay Ted: Nominated Best Web Series on YouTube

Friday, March 14th, 2008

About 6 months ago, the fellas at Black20.com were working away on their web series called “net_work”. For their upcoming video, they needed someone to play a character named “Naked Gay Ted” and one name immediately sprang to mind: me. And so, I gladly took up the challenge to play “Naked Gay Ted”, a man who is not only “naked” and “gay,” but also “named Ted.” It was an honor. And the Black 20 dudes did a great job putting the video together.

Well anyway I just found out that the video has been nominated by YouTube for Best Web-Series of 2007.

So feel free to click here and follow the link to the Series category to vote for Naked Gay Ted. Naked Gay Ted would be proud.

Human Giant Season 2

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Premiers tonight at 11 pm on MTV. Check it out. I filmed a few very brief bits with them. So I don’t know when they’ll air. But don’t watch to see my sorry ass. Watch because their sketches are he-larious. I think these dudes might be on to something. And so does this carpet monkey…

[funnyordie 61f64d8204]

Eat Your Heart Out, Eliot Spitzer

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

I’m trying to start up my own prostitution ring. You know, build it from the ground up. And mine is much better than that one Eliot Spitzer went to.

So, just to show you what you missed out on, Governor Spitzer, here are just a few of the advantages my prostitution ring has over the one you went to:

  1. My prostitutes only cost $4,125 an hour, as opposed to $5,500 an hour.
  2. After you’ve spent over $10,000 on the same experience you could have had with your right hand, my prostitutes will try to cheer you up by making funny faces or tickling you.
  3. My prostitutes are worth eight “Whore Diamonds,” as opposed to seven.
  4. If you spend enough money, you can get my top prostitute, who is worth One “Whore Diamond Skull”. (Actually, the top prostitute IS the actual Diamond Skull.)
  5. My prostitutes were all extras in a Ric Astley video.
  6. Fourteen of my prostitutes can kite surf.
  7. Amber, one of my very best prostitutes, can do a mean Gary Busey impression.
  8. All of my prostitutes can roll their “r’s” really well when they speak Spanish.
  9. One of my prostitutes, Alana, is in the Guinness Book of World Records for holding her breath underwater for 3 minutes and 31 seconds.
  10. My prostitutes always win their March Madness pools (and not just by accident).

If all of that doesn’t get everybody pumped up, I don’t know what will.
To set up an appointment, call this number: 917-438-9213

Frozen Grand Central

Sunday, March 9th, 2008


YouTube - Link to 

Some of you may have already seen this. Actually, 7.9 million of you may have already seen it. That’s how many views on YouTube there already are of Frozen Grand Central. So I’m WAY late in the game posting this. But I figure I should, since I’ve gotten tons of inquiries – from co-workers to neighbors – asking if that was indeed me in that video. Yes it was indeed me. I show up at about the 1:30 mark. Look closely.

As someone who has a severe case of restless body syndrome, it was tough to stay frozen for five minutes. What made it even tougher was hearing all of the reactions from the innocent bystanders. As you can hear, people either thought it was some sort of protest OR an elaborate exercise for an acting class. But either way I think we pulled it off nicely.

Hats off to Charlie Todd the creator of Improv Everywhere for putting together the amazing prank. Charlie was nice enough to make me an officer for IE’s Facebook Group. So sign up to be a member of it! Or else I’ll track you down! And trust me, I will find you! Where are you? You must be sitting in the upper deck of Yankee Stadium, right? That’s where I’m going to look for you right now. I should go this way, right? Yeah, this seems right. I’ll just keep going. I’ll find you if it’s the last thing I do!

Human Giant Season 1 DVD

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

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Human Giant’s Season 1 DVD is available now. Buy it here now. It includes all of your favorite sketches from Aziz, Paul, and Rob (& filmed by Jason). You might even see my sorry-ass mug in the very first episode when I play a movie producer in the Shutterbugs sketch. If that’s not enough, I also appear in the Special Features section of the DVD – asĀ  one of the highlights from the 24 Hour Marathon. That’s when I made a special appearance as “Quick Lips”. If you don’t want to buy the DVD any other reason, at the very least, do it for Quick Lips.

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