I, Rob Lathan, Emphatically Deny Ever Using Steroids. Period.
February 11th, 2008Dear Internet,
I want to state clearly and without qualification: I did not take steroids, human growth hormone or any other banned substances at any time in my comedy career or, in fact, my entire life. Those substances represent a dangerous and destructive shortcut that no comedian should ever take.
The allegations made by my former manager, Barry McGillicutty, are outright lies. I realize that some of the comedians named in the Brenner Report may have used certain banned substances in order to gain an edge on stage. I was not one of those people.
I’ll be the first to admit that I may have gotten a boost in being funny late in my career, as detailed in the graph below.
And yes, my laughs did jump from 4 in 2004 to 107 in 2005 (the year I supposedly took steroids). But that doesn’t mean I cheated in order to get to that level. I did it through hard work, determination and good use of fake mustaches.
I can’t believe I even have to say this, but I would also like to deny that my wife ever took human growth hormone in order to gain an advantage as a third grade school teacher. McGillicutty testified that he injected her with HGH as directed by me before she was scheduled to have her parent-teacher conferences. That is simply not true. She got through that grueling week by her own hard work, and a lot of coffee.
These past few months have been extremely hard on me and my family. I just hope you take my words as the absolute truth, and not listen to the shameful lies coming from Mr. McGillicutty.
Sincerely,
Rob Lathan (Non-Steroid User)
February 20th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Mr.Lathan,
I don’t believe you. Your shameless use of mustaches, shuttle runs, quick hands, stilts, small toy guitars, and speed eating prowess…point directly to HGH and steroid usage.Were you using these before?No. I find your statement to be laughable in the the non-laughable way that your chart shows. You are beyond contempt and should be ashamed of yourself for the example you are setting to younger comedians. Yes, you were a hero of mine…but a hero no more. I am frankly saddened at your complete disregard for forging your dream in a “natural” way. I hope you can learn how to put down the toy guitar, forget the quick hands and attempt to stand on the stage with nothing but your heart in your hand and your pride in tact. That, Mr. Lathan is what you were made for….you were made for.
Senator Allen o