roblathan.com

Yesterday I got a notice from YouTube that the video of me performing The Electric Slide on stilts on the Today Show has been removed as a result of a third party claiming that the material was infringing. Now I figured this “third party” was either from NBC or Hasselhoff or maybe even Regis. But it was neither of them. It came from a website called: http://the-electricslidedance.com/ 

Besides the image of Spiderman dancing around, the site is a little hard to follow. After sifting through several legal documents I finally gathered that the owner of the site is none other than the guy who invented The Electric Slide. His name: Ric Silver. And Ric means business.

According to his website (scroll down towards the bottom), Ric not only invented The Electric Slide (back in 1975 for the re-opening of the Vamps disco on 71st and Broadway), but he also single handedly invented several other dances, such as “Locking”, “Poppin’”, “The Weeble”, ”The Robot”, “Breakdancing” (all by himself), and something known as “The Texas Silver Star”.

Also, this guy is well connected. Just take a look at all of the celebrity stars he’s linked to (after reading his bio “My Life on Earth is Short”, scroll down to the bottom). The range of stars Ric knows is endless. There’s Charles Michael Adler (or Beanie), Christopher Jones from “Wild in the Street”, Bobby from “The Boys in the Band”, David Ogden Stires (who’s shoes may or may not “Look Swell”), Cher, and finally, The Rock.

So as you can see, Ric is a very powerful man. Still… I’m gonna fight him with everything I’ve got! And you know what that is, right? My trusty pair of shiny red stilts.

For Ric never thought to perform The Electric Slide…on stilts. Did ya Ric? Huh? You only thought the dance could work on LEVEL GROUND. Well guess what, Ric-mesiter? It works a whole lot better three feet up in the air. I’m taking The Electric Slide to a whole new frontier! A place where the laws of gravity simply don’t apply. From my vantage point, way up here on my slilts, your little pip-squeek “electric slide” dance might as well have training wheels attached to it. 

So there you have it. I’m gonna do my best to fight the powers that be involved with The Electric Slide. Er…actually…can I? Any lawyers out there? Here’s a link to the procedure for sending a counter notice to YouTube.

So I’ve been told by the good people at Rififi that the show I host called Get Psyched! will now have a run on Thursdays at 8 pm. Specifically, the show will run on 1/25, 2/1, 2/8, 2/15 and 2/22 – all at 8 pm. I will host the show as Dr. Lanny Latham, the world’s greatest life coach. So come check out the first show. Here are more details:

Get Psyched!

Rififi (Cinema Classics)

332 East 11th Street (bt. 1st & 2nd Ave.)

Thursdays at 8 pm

(1/25, 2/1, 2/8, 2/15, & 2/22)

Cost: $5

Performers for the 1/25 show:

Bobby Tidale

Roger Hailes

Jon Daly

Lennon Parham

And if you’re not psyched up enough now, maybe this will help inspire you…

Ok, so I’ve been tagged by my main man, Nate Shelkey. That means I am supposed to write out 5 things you don’t know about me (or maybe you do). It looks like a lot of people have already done this, so I better make mine good. Here goes…

1) During my first two years with a driver’s license I was pulled over for suspected drunk driving 11 times. I was completely sober each time.

2) During my senior year in high school, I peed in the fountain of the Georgia Governor’s Mansion. It was for a scavenger hunt. This earned my team 50 points. Amazingly, no security tackled me as I stood there staring right into the Governor’s bedroom window, pissing away.

3) My freshman year in college I threw a toilet out of my dormroom’s 2nd floor bathroom window. I was sorta drunk and it seemed like a good idea at the time. The next day, school officials held a meeting with everybody in the dorm. I did not attend, but later inquired what went down. Apparently, the words “fingerprints”, “DNA testing” (there was blood on the toilet), and “expulsion” were all mentioned at the meeting. So I laid low for a while and decided against throwing out any more toilets.

4) At BBDO Advertising (my second job in New York), I shut down the entire Detroit and Chicago offices by sending out a mass email to everybody in my address book with over 50 songs attached that I had downloaded from Napster. The IT department threatened to have me fired.

5) My first year in New York I signed up for a pyramid scheme in which I was informed to overnight $500 to some numbnut in North Carolina, and was told that within a week I would be receiving $4,000 from 8 random people. I sent the $500 to the numbnut. I never got the $4,000. Nor did I get didley-squat. I’m still bitter about this.   

–Bonus Round–

6) I’m an idiot. But you already knew that.

This Thursday, as part of The Rejection Show, I will discuss how my pair of shiny, red stilts led me to getting rejected not once, not twice, but three times a lady. As discussed previously, I first got rejected when I was cut out of a SugaBabes video while dancing around on my stilts. Then I got rejected by the legions of SugaBabes fanactics who came to my webiste to make scathing posts filled with several exclamation points and frequent uses of the phrase “lol”. And finally I got rejected by none other than David Hasselhoff himself while performing on The Today Show for a promo for America’s Got Talent. So if you want to see me act all of this out while on my stilts, come see the show:

The Rejection Show
Thursday, January 18th at 8 pm
UCB Theatre
Only $5
Tickets

And as a little teaser for the event, here is a clip from my Today Show appearance:

Electric Slide on Stilts on Vimeo

Believe it or not, there are other people out there using my name: “Lathan.” Of course, every single one of these Lathan copycats blatantly stole my name once they found out how awesome it was. And you might think I’d be angry that these thieves are dragging my good name in the mud. But actually, I’m quite proud of my fellow Lathan-ites. For they are all keeping the Lathan name strong by making special appearances on the new internet site I like to call YouTube. 

First there is Sanaa Lathan, star of the hit film Alien vs. Predator, and inspiration to the James Blunt love song:

Sanaa Lathan Reel

Then there’s the popular baby, who like Madonna, simply goes by one name: “Lathan.” This Lathan appears all over YouTube, but a favorite is:

“Lathan Licks His Toy”

And finally, you can’t forget the star of the popular action/thriller/drama:

“Lathan goes 2 mexico XD”

And for an added bonus, there’s also a fellow out there who shares my alter-ego name of “Latham”. This ”Latham” is a highly aggressive boxer with a mean right hook. You can see some of his moves on the aptly titled video:

“LathamBox”

Thank you Lathans and Lathams for making me proud!

This Sunday I will be hosting and performing in a comedy show called Get Psyched! at a place called Rififi. I will be playing a character named Dr. Lanny Latham, who is a very energetic life coach. Some critics have already called this show the greatest show of the decade. And that’s just as of now. Come check it out. Here are the deets:

Get Psyched!

Rififi (Cinema Classics)

332 East 11th Street (bt. 1st & 2nd Ave.)

Sunday, January 7 at 8 pm

Cost: $5

Lineup:

Kristen Schaal

Kurt Braunohler

Dave Hill

Heather Fink

Carl Arnheiter

Nate Shelkey

Everybody’s making New Years resolutions. And everybody’s breakin’ ‘em. Why? Because they’re making them too hard. Everybody should follow my advice and make them super easy. Here are some of my Super Easy New Years Resolutions:

1) Quit Smoking.

I don’t smoke now. So all I have to do is just continue not smoking. If you do smoke, pick something you don’t do, and then just keep not doing it.

2) Make Sure My Debt is Less Than the U.S. Government’s.

Right now the U.S. National Debt is set at approximately $9 trillion. So as long as the negative number in my bank account is less than that, I’m good to go.

3) Join a Gym. And by “Join” I Mean Walk by One and Say, “Hmm… Nah. Not Today.”

4) Weigh Less Than World’s Fattest Man, Manuel Uribe.

He weighs about 1,210 pounds. So as long as I’m under a thousand or so, I’m in the clear. And even if I do somehow tip the scale over 1,210 pounds…I’m a world record holder now. Which is pretty cool.     

5) Don’t Do Crystal Meth While Listening to Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water”.

Now, I don’t do crystal meth to begin with, but let’s say for whatever reason I wanted to try it. I still could. My only restriction here is that I can’t be listening to Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” while doing it. What if, say, I wanted to listen to Thunderclap Newman’s “Something in the Air” while smoking some crysty? Wouldn’t be a problem. Or what about even Deep Purple’s, “My Woman From Tokyo”? That’d be totally fine.

So there you have it. Try some of these out and live life the way you should: like a winner!