Emergency Back-Double
May 17th, 2006If you ever need a quick fill in for a back, I’m your man.
Yesterday I got a call on my land-line at 8:30 in the morning. Now nobody ever calls me on my land-line because nobody knows the number. The only people that do call are telemarketers. But I got out of bed and answered the phone anyway. And it’s a good thing I did.
Me: (Sleepily) Hello?
Woman: Yes, is this Rob Lathan?
Me: (Still waking up) Yes.
Woman: This is Comedy Central. We need you for a promo we’re filming. The guy we have now can’t do it. Can you fill in for him?
Me: Okay.
Woman: How does your back look?
Me: Fine. I guess. (I should have said, “Amazing”.)
Woman: Good. Can you come to Greenpoint, Brooklyn right away?
Me: Okay.
And so I did. I got there approximately 30 minutes after hanging up the phone. I was pretty impressed with myself. The good people at Comedy Central said they had searched for my contact info for 30 minutes before they found it. They even google’d my name and stumbled upon my website, which only led them to useless, long-winded rants and no contact info. So it might be time for me to add my contact info on this site. Look for that to come out soon. Exciting stuff, huh?
Back to the promo. It was definitely worth getting out of bed for. I won’t give anything away about it. But it basically involved me getting my back waxed in a strange way. And for that I had tons of glue and fake hair dumped on my back…which now won’t come off. I took 4 showers. But there’s still glue and fake hair on my back. Niki even tried nail remover and still no dice. I guess I was meant to have fake back hair all along. Maybe I’ll just start a new look. And Malcolm Gladwell can write a chapter about me in his new book. That’s my goal. That, and being the most successful back-double in showbiz.
May 17th, 2006 at 10:38 am
This is good news for Rob Lathan and the back-double industry in general.
–Malcolm Gladwell
May 17th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
They waxed your back, then added more hair to it?
Not even Niki knows the land-line number.
DCG
May 18th, 2006 at 4:10 am
I love it! You’ll fit in perfect on the beach in Spain.
May 18th, 2006 at 9:41 am
Hey thanks Malcolm! Maybe you can also include a chapter about the back double industry in your next book?
May 18th, 2006 at 9:43 am
Well, they actually didn’t wax my back first because I didn’t have any hair on it. But, uh, now I do. Nobody knows the land-line number. Not even I know the land-line number.
May 18th, 2006 at 9:44 am
I think Spain has a strict policy requiring all beach goers to have fake, synthetic back hair.
May 18th, 2006 at 2:16 pm
You are stealing jobs from those of us with real back hair.
May 18th, 2006 at 3:51 pm
Oh yeah. Sorry about that. I’ll try to start growing real back hair. Or maybe I could gather all of my fake mustaches together and put those on my back.