I think I’m gonna go ahead and retire. No point in getting a real job if no one will hire me. And I see no reason to book a commercial or get a writing gig. So I figure it’s time for me to simply hang it up. It’s sort of like what the former Letterman writer, Rodney Rothman, wrote about in his entertaining memoir about early retirement called Early Bird. Only he “retired” early because he was overworked and needed a break. I don’t need a break. And I’m definitely not overworked. I usually average about 1-2 hours of actual work a week. But I’m at the point now where I’ve seen what’s out there and I figure it’s not for me. If they don’t like what I’m about, then fuck ‘em. I’ll show ‘em. I’ll retire! Plus, I figure it’s probably a good idea to retire a month before I get married. I’ve already saved up enough cash to last until at least May 1st. And as for when that runs out, no need to worry about that. I’ll cross that bridge when it comes. I can always move to Florida and write a book about my life… if I ever get around to it.