No, I will not declare early for the NFL Draft. So please stop trying to convince me that I should. Really. Please. Stop. Enough is enough. I’ve made up my mind. It wouldn’t make sense at this stage in the game for me to go early. There are a number of reasons why I should wait another year before I “test the waters”:
1. I don’t think I’m ready.
-I could probably use a little more experience playing organized football. Afterall I have never actually played football on the collegiate level. I’ve spent the last few years studying and performing improv comedy, in which I’ve learned to always “yes and” my scene partner. It’s been a great experience for me. But it probably wouldn’t help much in the NFL.
2. I’m not very fast.
-My 40 yard dash time is 5.9. Reggie Bush runs about a 4.2. If I tried to guard him, he’d probably run right by me. So I wouldn’t be a very good defensive back. And if I lined up at receiver I wouldn’t be much of a deep threat. You could always try throwing to me from 5 yards away, but I’d probably miss it. Or my hands would break. Why do people want me to declare early for the NFL? I don’t understand this.
3. I’m not very strong.
-Yes I did recently sign up for a one-year membership to Crunch gym. But that doesn’t mean I should jump on the NFL bandwagon right away. Let’s say I was a starting center and I was supposed to snap the ball to the quarterback and then block Warren Sapp. I couldn’t do that. First off, the ball would never make it to the quarterback. And secondly, Warren Sapp would literally kill me. I would die right there on the field. So whoever is trying to get me to go Pro early is being absolutely ridiculous. Really.
4. Not many scouts know who I am.
-Like I said earlier I have never played college football. So probably no scout or GM has ever heard of me. I’ve never heard Mel Kiper Jr. mention my name as a possible 1st or 2nd round draft pick. I mean why would he? Where would he have heard of me? The simple answer is he wouldn’t have. So it’s really stupid to think that I would be a high draft pick this year. Completely stupid.
5. I wouldn’t be able to make it to any games anyway.
-Every Sunday from 2:30-5:30 I have improv practice. So unless the game is at 8 o’clock at night, and in the Tri-State area, I’m probably not going to make it to any games. So why would an NFL team pay me millions of dollars to be on their team when I’m not going to be there anyway? That’d be really idiotic of them.
So sorry to dissappoint you. It’s just not gonna happen. No, I will NOT declare early for the NFL draft.
(But just out of curiosity, does anybody know where I’d go? I think someone had me going to Kansas City in the 2nd round.)