roblathan.com

Today I had an audition for a SugaBabes music video in which I danced around on stilts. I’ve never heard of the SugaBabes, but apparently they’re really big in the UK. The director of the video is looking for people with “special talents”. So my agent submitted me for it as a “stiltwalker” since an old resume listed that as one of my skills (really as a joke). It was completely coincidental that I actually just bought a pair of stilts. For the audition, they called us in three at a time. One guy was a breakdancer. One guy could karate kick really well. And I was a sliltwalker, of course. We all three performed our “special talents” at once while a Kanye West song played. So while the breakdancer did the worm and the karate guy made kicks in the air, I walked around in the background on my stilts. I can’t speak for my other two compadres, but I’m pretty sure I hit it out of the park.

Christmas came early this year in the Lathan household. A few weeks ago I finally got exactly what I always wanted: a pair of shiny, new, red stilts. They have a little insignia on the side that says “Crazy Legs”. Getting my “Crazy Legs” in the mail was basically the equivalent of the little boy in “A Christmas Story” getting his “Red Rider” BB Gun. I needed ‘em for a few comedy projects I’m working on. I mean what comedian working today doesn’t use stilts in his or her act? I’ve actually already used them twice. The first was for a Channel 102 pilot I worked on with Terry Jinn and company. The pilot “required” me to be up on stilts for the entire shoot. It was a lot of fun, and I actually didn’t injure myself too badly the whole entire time. I can’t wait to see how it turns out.

My second performance on stilts was last Thursady at the comedy show called Variety Underground. It was an interesting experience. I believe there were a few factors that I should have taken into account before I hit the stage on my stilts. First and foremost, the audience couldn’t see the upper half of my body since the stage was elevated and I was up on stilts. So the whole time, my head was up by the ceiling and the audience just heard various shouting while staring at my legs. Another factor was that the audience was probably a little worried for me since at any moment I was close to crashing into the front row and breaking at least one major bone. For the whole set I had to pace back and forth across the stage to balance myself. And I kept shaking and wobbling and sweating profusely, determined to stay up while I did my act. This may have been a little jarring and distracting to the audience who were trying to hear what the punchline was from some voice up in the ceiling.

The next morning I could barely walk since my feet were so sore from balancing on the stilts. Still though, it was worth it. From here on out, I’m gonna work on honing my act as the “stilt comedian”. Gotta love those Crazy Legs!

(Stay tuned for pictures of the Crazy Legs.)

So I finally put a “reel” together, which showcases some of my best work ever over my long and extensive acting career. It includes clips of me running around with angel wings, playing a redneck, speed eating, and of course, the Lathan special, getting hit in the balls. Hopefully this will send out a message to all of those casting agents in special need of a guy getting hit in the balls, “Go with Lathan”. Another interesting tidbit is the button at the end which showcases me asking a question on the talk show, CNN Talk Back Live. I guess this will show agents and casting directors that I have the ability to get kicked out of political talk shows and banned for good, just in case they need that.

Special thanks to Jamey Shafer for his excellent job putting the reel together, and to Will Hines for showing me how to upload the reel to my website. For viewing go to the page titled “Reel” or click on the link below:

Lathan’s Reel

Now crank up some Steely Dan, play some air guitar and if you get a chance, find me some more opportunities where I get hit in the balls.

I think the fear of getting older is one of the biggest problems in the world today. That’s right, I said it. In my opinion it’s one of the leading causes for all of those wars going on in the Middle East right now.

But I’ve come up with a solution to this problem: lie about your age. If you don’t want to be 43, tell everybody you’re really 33. If you want to go the absurd route, tell people you’re 13. No one’s gonna know.

Now a lot of people in showbiz already do this. Many actors on something like imdb.com create a birthdate that makes them younger than they really are. But for me, the opposite has occured. Someone posted a birthdate that has actually made me older than I really am. Check it out here:

www.imdb.com

As you can see, according to imdb.com I am actually 35 years old. (For all of you Rob Lathan trivia buffs, I’m actually 30). Another weird thing is that whoever posted it got the city right where I was born (Atlanta), but got everything else wrong. So this leads me to believe that whoever posted it knows me well enough to know that I’m from Atlanta. And from that I can conclude one of two things:

1) Somebody’s out to get me.

Or:

2) Somebody really wants me to be 35 years old.

I did try to contact imdb.com to change it, but haven’t heard back. So I guess I have to be 35 years old now. Wait, 35? How am I gonna get a gig now? Casting directors will write me off in no time! You know what? Fuck that! I hate being 35!!! I’m gonna go start a war in the Middle East!! Who’s with me??????

Last Tuesday, I played Donald Trump. I was asked through the UCB to the help the Writers Guild of America protest against product placement in reality tv shows. Also on hand were 3 other Trumps (played by fellow UCB performers Brian Huskey, Dave Thunder, and Anthony Atamanuik), as well as one Martha Stewart (played by Jeff Hiller).

The protest was held outside of a big advertising conference. The four of us Trumps and one Martha offered our bodies up for product placement to these ad execs as they entered the conference. I also probably said the words, “Ya fired!” to the execs about 75 times. One jarring experience from the event was when the actual CEO of my company (who does know me) walked into the conference while we all heckled him. I hesitantly told him, “Ya fired!” But luckily he didn’t recognize me in my ridiculous Trump wig. Otherwise he would have turned to me and said, “No Rob, actually YOU are fired!”

Here are some links about the event:
AdAge

Variety

As you can tell from the pics, I look and act nothing like Donald Trump.

After the event, I took off my fake Trump wig and headed to the subway to go to my crummy job, while the CEO of my company took his limo to his giant office overlooking Madison Avenue. It was then I realized one thing: we totally nailed those guys!

So I figure I should start writing about real stuff in my life, huh? Apparently that’s what the people want. So that’s what the people will get. I’ll start with the fact that I am recently engaged. That’s pretty important, right?

Here’s a pic of the lovely lady:

Wait. Wrong picture. Here’s a real picture. I don’t know that first girl.

That’s Niki holding a bunny. Awwwww. She probably didn’t want me to use that picture but it was the only one I had of her on my computer at work. And Niki usually doesn’t go around carrying bunnies everywhere she goes, but this was taken at a “farm party” at my parents house in Atlanta. My Mom was having a post mid-life crisis of sorts and decided it would be a good idea to stick a bunch of farm animals in the front yard for a party in honor of my nephew Sam. And actually, my Mom was right. Because it was the best damn farm party I’ve ever been to.

Here’s a picture of Sam riding on a Shetland pony.

And here’s a picture of me trying to have a decent conversation with a Scottish calf.

Of note: It took me 2 days to figure out how to post these pictures on this site. And actually Niki was the one who had to do it for me. So enjoy ‘em while you can!